How to Tackle Sexual Harassment

Most women in the workplace have experienced sexual harassment at least a couple of times. And while raising awareness may aid the general climate of the topic in question, it doesn’t help women to specifically set themselves up for success in predominantly male work environments. Here are some ways I’ve strategically set myself up for long-term success as a woman in tech.

Reevaluate

Instead of reacting emotionally, take a second to think about the perpetrator- Could it be that it’s a simple difference in cultural dynamics? Are you taking things too seriously when the other party is just making a bad joke? Or are you seeking sexual attention from your environment? If you’re constantly feeling that people in your workplace lack respect for you and you are being attacked, then it might be time to reevaluate whether and how your insecurities are affecting your interactions with others. Sexual harassment bullies often target victims who lack self confidence, because it’s easier. Face your own insecurities first and take a moment to consider the circumstances before being upset.

Communicate

In any situation, how you communicate, both verbally and non-verbally, is vital to establishing the rules of play. The clearer you are about what you are and are not comfortable with, the less likely you are to be a victim of sexual harassment. If you’re uncomfortable in any situation, voice that clearly and assertively to establish boundaries. If you are timid and don’t voice your concerns, you cannot expect the other party to guess what you’re feeling.

Observe a Dress Code

As much as I’d love to say that we live in a world in which appearances don’t matter, they do. In fact, appearances are quite telling; If you look like you haven’t showered and are wearing your gym sneakers into a meeting, it may hint that you are disorganized and don’t take pride in your work. If you’re still wearing hip-squeezing, barely-there cocktail dresses to work, it becomes very apparent that you’re seeking sexual attention. As an ex-model, I’m not foreign to glancing eyes; But I left my bustiers and short skirts back where they belong- In my college apartment. It’s absolutely necessary to be strategic about how to dress in workplace environments; Let the people in the room focus on what you’re saying, and not what you’re wearing.

Be Relatable

If you’re pitching to a room full of VCs or work in IT, chances are, you’re one of the few women in the room. You might love girl talk, but your colleagues or potential investors probably don’t. If you’re looking to develop close interpersonal relationships at work, speak the language of the other party without being disingenuous. You don’t have to talk to them about how the Warriors game went the other day if you don’t know who Steph Curry is, but talking about how the manicurist messed up your ombre claws is probably not interesting to the suits in your life.

Create Value

The best way to earn the respect of your male colleagues or managers, is to focus on adding value to your ecosystem- If you prove to everyone that you’re on top of things and show that you’re able to think outside the box to offer uniquely valuable solutions to difficult problems, you’ll earn respect inevitably. If you don’t have a bully’s respect, you’re easy prey.

Focus

There are bullies everywhere. That’s why it’s important to focus on changing what you have the power to change- You. You won’t be able to avoid every asshole, everywhere. In the unfortunate situation in which you come across a bully, avoid or ignore that person to the best of your abilities. You’ve got better things to focus on!

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My personal strategy is to turn every potentially negative experience, into a lucrative opportunity by earning the respect of the other party. If a man hits on me with whom I’d rather have a purely professional relationship, I use his advances as my foot-in-the-door to create a thought-provoking and intellectually stimulating conversation. 99% of the time, the perpetrator is pleasantly surprised by the insight and the conversation shifts to one with an air of mutual respect. If the other party can’t appreciate the thoughtfulness of my approach, he’s not a person I want to engage anyway!