Baba
What many of you may know, is that I moved to the US with my dashingly brilliant mother, who made it her mission to give me every opportunity in the world, at the tender age of 6. What most don’t know, however, is that my parents divorced when I was 8 months old. “So where are the daddy issues?”
The reality is that I’ve had very strong male influences in my life, always. At a young age, my grandfather, or as we all call him, Baba, was my father. When we moved to the US, I told myself I was lucky- Most kids just had two parents, but here I was, with four! I had a grandmother, a grandfather, a mother, and a Scottish “godfather” named Conor, who was yet another father figure in my life. I never felt like I missed out on anything, and was surrounded by love from every angle that mattered.
“Baba” means “father” in Marathi. It’s perhaps funny that my grandfather ended up with that as a nickname from a young age, and even more coincidental that it carried on through the rest of his life. Today he turned 91.
My earliest memories were not of my parents, but of my grandparents. In fact, the earliest memory I have any recollection of is more of a feeling… a feeling of being held in the comforting embrace of my grandfather as he sang a prayer to me in the warmth of the evening courtyard in India. I know that feeling well, because when my little cousin Sanika was born, she would for a time, only sleep with me or her mother, and I would rock her to sleep in a little rocking chair at my aunt’s home after school. I remember the all encompassing, open-hearted and unyielding love I felt at those times, with her little body clinging onto my shoulder and playing with a strand of my hair as she fell asleep. When I think of true love, I think of that. It is love as true as I know it to be, and the same feeling I recall as I would fall asleep on Baba’s shoulder as a child myself.
I’m more similar to Baba than anyone else in our family, including our short tempers and astuteness- Perhaps that is why our bond is so strong. But Baba is so many things: a true renaissance man, with an adventurous soul, a romantic heart, a brilliant mind, and a tenacious spirit. The sheer integrity and vitality with which he lives his life has simply dims all else in comparison!
At 91 years of age, my grandfather is more romantic than ever. He takes every opportunity to make my grandmother swoon, and reminisces of their many adventures together so fondly that it often brings him to tears. He met her at the home of a friend of hers, and was instantly smitten, and proposed for her hand in marriage. While any marriage takes hard work, they both invested themselves every step of the way in theirs. It seems that every day, they fall more and more in love. It is truly a blessing to experience the reality of that love manifested in how close our entire family is, and how deeply our values are impacted by it.
Baba is the most adventurous person I know. From catching rattlesnakes with his best friend and brother Kama at a young age, he took every opportunity to travel to foreign nations, learn new languages, and explore as much of life as he possibly could. I’m forever grateful for the love he’s inspired in me, of life! He loves to travel, to try new things, new foods, and has the unequivocally unique ability to illustrate his experiences through stories- You would feel as though you’re right there beside him.
When I was little, I would sleep in between Baba and Aji, my grandmother. Baba and I would put up the mosquito net around the bed, go inside to kill all the mosquitos with our hands by slapping them together, then wash off our hands before crawling into bed. Then, after I pulled my (vegan) “lion’s blankie” up to my chin, he would tell me a story. A story, often, of a faraway land, full of magic, adventure, and a quest. I would fall asleep as I listened, trying to stay awake as long as I could, while I played with the bracelets on grandmother’s silky arms.
We went through the Mahabharata and Ramayana three times each by the time I was 6. In fact, we went through so many other stories that he started improvising and creating his own! One of my favorites was a story about the ChintaMani- a rare gem that would make your deepest wishes come to life, but at a cost. His stories were always filled with adventure, a quest, and a healthy dose of wholesomeness. Perhaps that’s why at a very young age, I started to lucid dream. Thanks to Baba’s inspiration, I found myself inking my pen with my own imaginary tales.
I hope that I can continue to live my life with everything Baba has taught me- to live fearlessly, to love wholeheartedly, and to take every opportunity to light up with joy. Thank you Baba for being everything a father ought to be and so, so much more.
