Thanksgiving 2015

This year, since I wasn’t able to be with my family for thanksgiving, I decided to write a few things to capture the spirit of the holidays! Being away from my family during the holidays really helped me appreciate how blessed I truly am to have such an amazing one. We’re not a family that says “I love you”. So I won’t 🙂 Here goes…

Baba: My grandfather is the coolest cat I know, and also the person I look up to the most. We share many traits; among them, a thirst for adventure, a love of good grub, classic style, a romancing pen, and a short temper. Growing up with my grandfather was never short on thrill. Every night after we put up the mosquito nets, my grandfather and I would go inside, clap our hands to kill the ones that had made it into the net, and carefully come back out to wash off our bloody hands before diving into the faux fur of what I called my ‘lion’s blankie’. And then, the story began.

My grandfather would weave a magnificent tale that even now, inspires my lucid dreams. Often times it would be the Mahabharata, sequenced over a period of months; Although every now and then, he would break the sequence to insert one of his own makings, such as the story about the Chintamani. His stories were always full of adventure, emotion, and a lesson. Thinking about his stories has helped me feel more in touch with my Indian values after having moved to the states.

When I was living in India, my cravings were never left unfulfilled, (which my mother took the care to continue after moving to Seattle). When my grandfather, whom I have always called Baba, came home from the market, I would rush and grab the bags out of his hands, sit on the floor in front of the door, and start eating the fresh fruits and vegetables. (Ahh the food dreams… I’ve forgotten what real food tastes like being in the US) After I moved to the states, he would make sure to buy all the fruits in season before I came home. Baba and I also created a new tradition after I moved to Seattle- Every time I came to Pune to visit him, he would take me to Kawre Ice Cream. Each time, I tried to beat the number of scoops I had the prior visit. My favorite was Rose ice cream. Baba would tell me, “Love all! Bandya, eat as many scoops as you want!”

Baba has traveled to many places, learning about new cultures and always leaving the people he’s interacted with feeling inspired and connected. The family he stayed with in France during his academic trip there, still remembers him fondly and wrote to him for many years.

I have never met two people who love each other as deeply as my grandparents. They had an arranged marriage, and still fight to this day. But when my grandfather fell ill a couple of years ago, my grandmother took care of him better than anyone could dream, as she always has. No matter what happens, he appreciates and cherishes his every moment with her transparently. They take a walk together every morning and evening, hand in hand, my grandma braving her knee pain to make sure that my grandfather doesn’t fall.

At a time when woman were not very empowered in India, he enabled her to pursue her academic dreams. One of my fondest possessions is a ring he bought for her from France. It is by no means an extraordinary ring, but the story of its being certainly is. He was walking through the streets of Paris, as this ring caught his eye. He approached the street vendor, and knew he wanted to purchase the ring for my grandmother. The ring cost 45 euros, which for a starving student with three kids, was a tall order. But being the romantic he is, he counted and paid, and brought back a tiny little gem for my grandmother, which she gave to me a few years ago.

I’m so thankful for my grandfather; For giving me his stories, his dashingly good looks, an open and adventure-loving heart, and a pondering mind.

Aji: My grandmother is one of the most incredible human beings I know. I’ve yet to meet someone with a bigger heart and capacity to love. She runs the Joshi household, and is the glue that keeps everyone together. Her views are incredibly progressive for her times, and she has always instilled in me the importance of independence through education and merit.

My grandmother is a pillar of her community in Pune. Hundreds of people have attended her speeches; She not only preaches understanding, but also shows it through her every action. Her compelling tone of voice, nimble mind and caring nature makes me believe that she would’ve made a damn good CEO.

When I’m with my grandmother, there is no wish left unfulfilled. She makes it her mission to make sure that every time I visit, I get everything I ask for, without so much as thinking about her own needs. “You like this necklace? Take it, it’s yours. You want to go to Wadeshwar for brunch? Done.” Even at 75 years old, she planned and executed my entire India trip a few months ago, making sure that I ate every food on my checklist, got to see every friend I wanted to see, and got to shop for everything I wanted. But her love extends far beyond that.

I recall in particular, an instance in which I came home, crying from the school rickshaw. I told my grandmother that the other kids were mean, and I would fight with them. I asked her to scold them. She listened. The next day, I was shocked, as she went to the rickshaw and instead of scolding them, gave everyone candies. I was so angry at her- “Aji, how could you give candies to the kids who fight with me?” I asked her. She said “Rashmi, never stoop down to their level. If they are rude, be nice back. At some point they will have to be nice to you.” Today I understand what a rhetorical genius my grandma truly is.

I’m thankful for my grandmother, for showing me just how much love there is in the world, and what real love is. Real love is staying up to make me sheera when I return late from school, despite being tired. Real love is giving me a bite out of her own plate because she knows how much I would enjoy it. Real love is watching me carefully to see what I wanted and getting it, without me ever needing to voice it. I’m also thankful for my grandmother for empowering me with her wisdom, supporting my dreams, and enabling me to reach them.

Aai: My mother is hands-down the person I respect the most on this earth. She is the strongest, bravest, most hardworking and selfless person I know. Everything she has worked hard for, has been to enable me to have an incredible life. Even now, I have to remind her to take the time to do something nice for herself. There has never been a time in my life when I can say that she wasn’t there for me. Which is quite astounding if you realize just how busy she is… and how much of an ass I’ve been at times. I wouldn’t know where to start if I started recalling all the wonderful things about my mother, so I’ll leave it to this- I’m not only thankful, but I consider myself blessed to have such an incredible guide, best friend, and role model as my mother.

Mami: My aunt is one of the sweetest people I know. She has always made me feel a part of the family, including me in all family dinners and never hesitating to buy me the same gifts as her own kids. If my grandmother is the glue that keeps the family together in India, my aunt is the very same in the states. Every week we go over to their house for a movie night in, filled with corny jokes and our latest updates.

My Mami is also a great shopping buddy. Our shopping trips in Pune and Mumbai are legendary; She and I also share a love of dirty jokes, which are often lost on (or perhaps willfully ignored by) the rest of the family.

I’m thankful for my Mami for always making me feel welcome, supported, and more importantly, at home when I’m at her house. I’m of course I’m thankful for our giggles too!

Mama: My uncle is well known for his generosity, corny jokes, and love of simplicity. He is a doer and not a talker. He was instrumental in my mother and I moving to the US, and supportive of my mother’s endeavors. It is also thanks to him, that we have such a great time when we go to India. He has created processes that allow my grandparents to live with ease, and enable us all to have a carefree time when visiting them.

My uncle has always retained his values, even after selling his company. One would never be able to tell that he has been as successful as he has, due to his grounded demeanor and lack of ‘things’. He is the least materialistic person I know, and lives with simplicity.

I’m thankful for my uncle for supporting my mother and for taking care of my beloved grandparents.

Sarang: Sarang is my little cousin, whom I really consider a brother. We have grown up together for part of our earlier years, fighting over legos and whose turn it was to play Xbox. Since his return to the US, he’s grown to be a dotting young man.

I don’t see much of him anymore, but that’s because he is busy with his college festivities. But no matter how infrequently I see him, he’s someone who will be an integral part of my life, whom I’m proud to call my brother. I’m excited for his adventures, and to support him in any way that I can.

In recent years, we have begun to become friends, which is something I’ve really enjoyed and value. In some ways Sarang is more mature than I am, always diplomatic and compassionate. I’m thankful for learning with him, for our silly jokes, and for inspiring me constantly.

Sanika: Where to start with this one. Sanika is my little sister, and will always be the kryptonite to my (sometimes) hard shell. She is incredibly intelligent, thoughtful, talented, creative, and one of the sweetest girls I’ve ever known. Her goofiness always makes me smile; She has a unique ability to make even the toughest of people melt at her comforting disposition and selfless approach.

As soon as I saw her, I adored her. When she was little, she would only go to sleep with her mother and me. I had the task of rocking her to sleep every day when I walked over to my aunt’s house after school. I still remember the feeling of rocking her to sleep and her warm little body clinging onto me as she drifted off; no cuddles will ever be as good as those.

While most people know how talented she is, they may not know how incredibly intelligent she is, perhaps due to her grounded demeanor. She is a fantastic singer, musician and artist. But I learnt how smart she was when I asked her to help me make some sketches for my company- The quality of questions that she asked was high; She showed thoughtfulness that I wouldn’t expect to see in most experienced 30 year olds. All this while maintaining complete compassion, with a caring voice and no ego whatsoever. I’m absolutely certain that she will create amazing things in her life. I hope she starts to realize just what an incredible and capable individual she really is. I can only help her discover herself and be there for her if she ever needs me.

I think in some ways, her coming into the world made me a better person- It made me want to grow into a role model. It made me understand and practice a different kind of love. I’m incredibly thankful for Sanika for inspiring me continuously; For making me laugh; For never ceasing to amaze me with her intelligence and creativity; For showing me that compassion is not lost; For giving back a hundred fold the same adoring love I’ve always had for her.

Conor: Conor is my (for lack of a better word) adoptive father. I call him my godfather when explaining to others, because let’s be honest, that sounds way cooler. He and my mother have been besties since we moved to the states, and he has treated me like his own.

Growing up I always thought Conor was the coolest person I’d ever met. He refused to get a car, a cell phone, or leave his gorgeous apartment in Capitol Hill, despite working in Microsoft in boring old Redmond. He would bike every day from Seattle to Redmond and back; sometimes even tacking on a few miles of swimming in the morning at Pro Club. Slowly but surely, he got a cell phone, then a car (albeit, a sporty one), and then one day suddenly- A mini van. A MINI VAN, folks. The same mini van that he and I used to make fun of in former years. Yes, kids will do that to you. Don’t worry Conor, you’re still the coolest person I know.

In grade school, I started learning Spanish. Conor used to take me to a Mexican restaurant for lunch every Wednesday half days, to “brush up on my Spanish”- aka to share a plate full of fajitas. He taught me how to make fajitas the right way, putting the guacamole on the side to ‘glue’ the ends together so nothing falls out. He also would take me out to eat at fancy restaurants occasionally. I blame him for introducing me to all the wonderful (and pricey) things life has to offer that my start up paycheck can’t afford! He would take me shopping at times as well, helping me appreciate quality, and inspiring me to try new and unique foods that helped me dive deeper into my foodie persona.

Despite my mother being ‘the musician’ of the house, it was actually Conor who taught me a few songs on the piano. He was a killer player; My favorite of his renditions was Moonlight Sonata, which he played with brimming emotion.

Conor and I share a love for the Simpsons. Every time he would take me to the movies, after we grabbed sour gummy worms, we would make sure to stop by the gumball machines to try to get a Simpsons bobble-head, which we would then glue to the dashboard of my mother’s car. After his father passed away, Conor gave me a Homer Simpson water glass, which was left to him by his father. I never let anyone else touch that glass- It is one of my most prized possessions. I wish I could have met his father. I’d heard that he was quite jolly and enjoyed a good joke, like Conor.

I’m thankful for Conor for being there for me, always, even though he never had to. I’m thankful for him getting me my first bike, teaching me how to ride it, and then letting go and letting me fall into a bush 🙂 I’m thankful for Conor for teaching me to appreciate quality and developing taste. I may not be able to call him ‘dad’, but in my mind he’s even better than a dad- For a ‘dad’ is someone who has biological responsibility- Conor never did, and yet he choose to be a wonderful person who went above and beyond in guiding me.

Lovina: Over the years, Conor’s wife Lovina, has grown to be an integral part of my family. Despite having one of the strangest introductions to each other, she has crushed any possibilities of negative emotions and has embraced myself and my mother as a part of her family with love. She is one of the sharpest women I’ve ever met- Any time I walk out of a conversation with her, I learn something new. She has become a friend to me, whom I can speak to about most anything and gage thoughtful advice. Boyfriends, family, business, you name it. Her mindset always helps me think about things in a new, more strategic light.

Lovina invites my mother and me to every thanksgiving and Christmas. We even flew out to Ft. Lauderdale for a couple years when they had moved there for her job- Which was a fun-filled adventure! It may seem strange to onlookers, but we’ve grown into our own little American family. She puts in a lot of effort into making things pristine for thanksgiving and Christmas. Ten different elaborate dishes, the right china and place settings- It’s all perfectly thoughtful.

I’m thankful for Lovina for letting us be a part of the family and making the best of what could have been an incredibly awkward experience. I’m thankful for her thoughtful advice, which has always challenged me to think differently.

Ella: Ella is the first of Conor and Lovina’s kiddies. This little munchkin has one of the biggest hearts I’ve known. Every time my mother and I walk through the door, she leaps onto us, covering us with hugs and kisses. I remember distinctly when we had gone to visit them for Christmas one year in Ft. Lauderdale. After not seeing us for many months, she was positively brimming with affection and joy when we went. After dinner and getting settled in, my mother and I were reading her a storybook. She gave me one of the warmest hugs I’ve ever gotten, reminiscent of the cuddles of Sanika as a child, looked up with her big blue eyes filled with emotion, and said simply, “I love you Rashmi.” I’ll never forget that moment- It was the most sincere ‘I love you’ I’ve ever gotten (sorry boyfriend).

Ella loves to watch me dance. When we went over to their house sometimes, we would play some music and start dancing. She even named a toy ballerina after me, saying that it reminded her of me dancing.

Seeing Ella reminds me that the world is full of possibilities and new things to learn, for which I’m eternally thankful. Her kindred spirit, enthusiastic heart, and cute little stories help me realize that the world ain’t so bad.

Liam: Liam is Ella’s younger brother, and the goofiest little dude. Every time I see him, I can tell what he’s eaten a few hours prior by looking at his shirt. His happy-go-lucky and quiet nature reminds me of what I was like growing up. Okay, so quiet, maybe not, but I was quite happy to go with the flow.

Liam loves games, soccer, and storybooks. On a sunny day, he asks me to play soccer with him. It reminds me of when Conor used to play soccer with me as a kid- I didn’t realize that it was this exhausting! When does this little guy tire? The answer, my friends, is never. His mischievious little grin always gives away when one has unknowingly entered a game with him- Expect him to win!

I’m thankful for Liam for making me giggle, regularly beating me at games to remind me that I’ve yet to learn a few tricks, and for helping me enjoy all the sweet little things life has to offer.